


Salt: Program Notes (Who, Who, Who are you?)

by catchandelier



Series: Salt: The Story [4]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Other, character sheets are for lames
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-03-31 11:19:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13973997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catchandelier/pseuds/catchandelier
Summary: I got, I got, I got, I got loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA; I got power, poison, pain and joy inside my DNA; I got hustle though, ambition, flow, inside my DNA-Who the hell are all these goddamn people, anyway? Expect: Minutiae. Music. Details that don't fit anywhere else. Details that only matter slightly, mostly not at all. Concise sentences. Far fewer jokes than what one would normally expect. Except perhaps In-jokes? In-jokes.Tell me somethin', you mothafuckas can't tell me nothin'; I'd rather die than to listen to you. My DNA not for imitation. Your DNA an abomination.





	1. Straw Hat Pirates: Luffy

Captain of the Straw Hat Pirates. Rubberman. Idiot-savant. These are the words that best describe Monkey D. Luffy- the ones that aren’t foul curses, anyway.

His favorite crewmate is Zoro. Zoro is his first actual, genuine friend- that isn’t also his brother, or a lover. They can sit together quietly, and Luffy feels no need to fill the space with himself.

Among the crew, he is favored by Bryony. She considers him her best blood-relation- there just aren’t that many Monkey D.’s to discount any one, of course, but Luffy is her favorite for a few reasons. He’s not shitty, like Garp; he’s not abandoned his family, like Feng; and he’s not taking over the defunct strangle-vines of the World Government, like Dragon. (Who is Feng, you may ask? Well, put it like this- Dragon was  _ not _ an only child.)

 

His power animal is the Monkey.

His favorite number is one.

His favorite color is usually red, but he actually likes all of them- red’s just what he picks most often.

He smells like meat.

His favorite season is Summer.

He has a hot body temperature.

His favorite food is meat.

He does not have a set bedtime, nor a set amount of time he needs to sleep; although he does best with five or more uninterrupted hours of sleep, it’s not actually necessary.

 

His dream is to become the Pirate King, and of all the people who’ve professed to wanting to do just that, he’s  _ much _ more likely to actually manage to do it. He’s got the determination, he’s got the money, he’s even got the raw physical might- then again, fair Fortuna will have her say in the end. He might die, or be killed, or even discover the joys of parenting, long before he ever manages to lay hands on the Throne.

If he  **_does_ ** die though, Taffy gets the Hat.

 

His power flower is the  [ Cosmos ](https://gardenerdy.com/cosmos-flower-meaning) .

His birthday is  [ May the Fifth ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children%27s_Day_\(Japan\)) . When he was a child fostering with Makino, he actually thought  [ Golden Week ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children%27s_Day_\(Japan\)) was a really big lead-up to his birthday. After moving back in with his mother, Dadan, Luffy didn’t really celebrate his birthday again; Golden Week was a much quieter affair, and although he’s not particularly good at fact-based learning, he’s  **_very_ ** good at social-learning. He knew his family was poor; and he knew that if he made a fuss about his birthday, his mom would be sad. He explained this to Usopp and Mark one night, during their afterglow-cuddles; Mark told Mab; Mab told Sanji; and Sanji’s been planning his Birthday Tea ever since. Mab was the one to explain, obliquely, that Birthdays for grown-ups are more about taking a small break, eating something special or you really, really like; hanging out with your friends; and getting (or giving) small gifts.

His star sign is  [ Taurus ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taurus_\(astrology\)) , or the Cosmic Womb.

He was seventeen at the start of his adventure, and is currently nineteen.

His bloodtype is F+ (B+). 

He bathes- as in, scrubs down- once a week, but rinses off every day. 

 

If he were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Okinawa. Okinawa is a jungle paradise that used to be an entirely different kingdom, and it feels like it compared to the rest of Japan. He’s actually from the East Blue, Est as it’s called in-story. Specifically, he’s from the Goa Kingdom, which is a cross between the most Japanese parts of Brazil, Portugal, and Nordic culture.

If he weren’t a pirate, he’d be a firefighter.

If he were a song, it’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/AW1rgaxsjfo) .

 

Before he was separated from his crewmates, the only things he could semi-reliably cook were things that didn’t involve the stove at all- pre-made food, snacks, sandwiches, things like that. After his two years of training, he can make a lot of very basic meals- roasted things, grilled things, stew, and so on. He’s best at cooking whole animals, or large cuts of meat- if he cooks anything smaller than say, an entire sea-cow, he’s likely to eat it.

Luffy does all his shit in a beat-up pair of straw sandals, jean shorts, and a vest; he has other clothes, but these are what he comes back to eventually. Oh, yes, and the Hat; he always wears the Hat, weather and fashion be damned. Mab sewed underwear into all his shorts and pants so he wouldn’t get assblisters. If she had not, he’d go commando. He had a winter jacket that Mab made for him specifically; it got taken hostage, and eventually eaten, by Armed Ants. The “X” scar on his chest is actually from where he dodged two ballistae bolts from the Armed Ant fortress. After he told Mab the story, she made him a new one; he likes it, of course, but he really  _ loved _ the old one. Mab may or may not Know This, and be Taking Steps.

Luffy hates the smell of vegetables (too green), cherry pies (too sweet), and plain kombu (bleh).

His favorite favorite food of all foods is steak.

While he would be satisfied with a crew of about ten members, Fate has conspired to give him many many more than ten. He had more than ten members of his crew back in Water Seven. Considering the fact that everyone on his crew is either too young to be off on their own, the best at what they do, or has the potential to be the best at what they do; or is just fucking cool as shit, like basically all his crewmates. He’s a loving boy, Our Captain.

 

He is in a romantic and sexual relationship with Mark and Usopp. He, himself, is Asexual- his partners are not. Sometimes he just watches and smiles them on; sometimes his with one or the other; sometimes he’s with both. Of the… at least one per arc… 7 in Est… 12 in the Alabasta Arc… 9 in Water 7… 5 times in the Sabaody Arc.. at least 30 in the War of the Best… 7 + 12 + 9 + 5 + 30 = ...63? Sure, of the 63 times he’s been inches from death, the time he almost fucked himself off Hekate-chan and into the ocean below ranks in the top five, top ten for sure.

His actual favorite activity, when he’s not on an Adventure, is cuddling with his partners.

He reads romance novels for fun. He doesn’t have much book-learning to speak of, simply because his dyslexia went undiagnosed and untreated for years. Now that he has special colored-lens reading glasses and uses a clear reading ruler, there’s hardly a book in his favorite genre that he won’t give a try. He doesn’t have much motivation to learn more than he has been- that said, Mab and Robin have gotten him hooked on historically accurate romance novels, and as he goes to look up more about the Historical Things, he ends up learning anyway.

 

Fun facts: Luffy is terrible at lying in social contexts. He’s  _ very good _ at stealing, thieving, sneaking, and other kinds of skullduggery. He’s also a skilled hunter, trapper, and fisherman.

His grandmother, Phoebe, is an opera singer. She divorced his grandfather, Garp, and took the girls. Luffy only knows them as names next to pictures from one of the photo-albums his mom showed him when he got meningitis; apparently, Phoebe left them with Feng and Dragon so they wouldn’t forget about their sisters or mama, and then Feng left, and Dragon passed the albums on to Dadan.

Luffy’s cousins are Bryony, Gandy, Hurdy, and Dove. He’s met one of them- and technically, Bryony is his half-sister, but neither of them care about that.


	2. Straw Hat Pirates: Zoro

First Mate of the Straw Hat Pirates. Swordsman. Hidden Depths. These are the words that best describe Roronoa Zoro.

His favorite crewmate is Sanji; once he got over his inflexible misogyny and overbearing perversion, he became a very cool guy to hang out with. They actually have a lot in common, and very similar core values. Also, it’s nice to have someone around the same age and maturity level to shoot the shit with, do man-things with, and be friends with.

He is the favorite crewmate of Luffy, Usopp, Beatrix, and Aoife. They all consider him to be very reliable, and very cool.

 

His power animal is the [ Tigershark ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_shark).

His favorite number is two.

His favorite color is green.

He smells like steel.

His favorite season is Autumn.

He has an even temperature body- not too hot or cold.

His favorite foods are plain white rice, finely prepared Sea King, and strong ale.

He has two distinct sleeping times.

 

His big, overarching dream is to become the Greatest Swordsman in the World; his smaller, more personal dream is to be a good husband to Nami, and raise their children together. Both of his dreams are within his power, the second more easily than the first.

He’s also discovering a love of teaching- specifically, teaching beginners the Art. He’s actually got a gift for it, and if this whole “Best in the World” thing works out- or if it doesn’t and he ends up living- he’s got a pretty sweet backup plan. That’s not counting all his weird skills, either.

 

His power flower is the [ Thistle ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thistle).

His birthday is November the Eleventh.

His star sign is [ Scorpio ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorpio_\(astrology\)) or Thief.

At the start of the adventure, he was nineteen; he is currently twenty-one.

His blood type is XF+ (AB+).

He scrubs once a week, and rinses off every day.

He sleeps about three hours during the night between three and seven AM; his naps add up to about eight hours.

 

If he were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Hokkaido; big sky country, with liberal attitudes towards women and a love of new things. He’s actually from Shimotsuki, an island of villages in Est. It’s farm country that takes more than a few nods from Fae culture; strange rituals, violence being the answer to most problems, and a distinctive lack of big centralized government- except for where it’s Traditional.

 

If he weren’t a pirate, he’d be a police officer.

If he were a song, it'd be [this one](https://youtu.be/ZjIcgfthEmM).

 

Before his adventure, he could only really cook camp food, sashimi, ceviche, and certain kinds of bread; now, he can make curry, too. Mab doesn’t quite have the heart to tell him that curry isn’t a real Faesh dish.

Zoro wears boots, loose pants, a haramaki, and a clingy white T-shirt most often. Mab despairs of ever keeping his white shirts white, or getting his haramaki’s approaching something… not baby-puke green? The struggle is real. He also wears character socks, which Mab can forgive because she can’t see them.

Zoro exasperates Chopper every time he comes back injured from a fight.

 

He has a multitude of skills beyond sword fighting; his un-sense of direction led him through many, many places. He did odd jobs before it was legal for him to bounty hunt; more often than not, this defaulted to him babysitting. However, those not oftens were… bizarre.

Zoro can design a campsite, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a sheep-wall (made of loose stone, won’t actually stop an animal per say), relocate joints, see a dead companion honorably buried, take orders, give orders, cooperate (grudgingly), act alone (gladly), solve honor-equations, take things as they come, plan ahead, change a baby’s diaper, juggle, walk a tightrope, french kiss, cheat at poker, design jewelry, throw and glaze pottery, organize files, and dance. Zoro cannot, under any circumstances, conn the ship. He knew how to thresh wheat, milk goats, and shear sheep _before_ he became a wanderer.

 

Zoro was raised by his Aunt, Roronoa “Tin” Lizzy, and his Uncle, Ryu. His uncle does not have a last name. The fate of his parents is not something he likes talking about, mostly because he was so young when everything happened; there’s a reason the first thing he can really remember clearly is being held along with his sisters astride the back of a massive boar. There is also a reason he can only just bring himself to tell the story of “The Pig that Herded Sheep” to Nami, and only aloud.

Zoro is a changeling; and whether that means he is autistic, or if that means he was something else before he became human… well, only he and Nami know for sure.

Zoro has two older sisters, Roronoa “Rosie” Rosa Maria, and Roronoa “Merimay” Marigold May. They’re sheepherders; sheep farmers.

He left home at the age of nine to discover his Dream, and found the Dojo and Kuina and a Dream.

Before he left Shimotsuki, he impregnated a woman named Anais, who bore him five children. Anais is married to his sister, Rosie. And yes- he defended their right to marry in Court, with his (Kuina’s) sword.

 

He hates the smell of rust; hates the taste of Milk Chocolate; his favorite food is Onigiri.

Zoro likes puns and word-jokes. A lot.

 

Zoro is the submissive in a sub/dom relationship with Nami. He has some major hangups connected to his strength, sexuality, and desire. It does not help that the ideals of a Swordsman almost directly conflict with self-actualization. He also has a very strong fetish for pregnant women.

 

Fun Facts: Zoro writes about two and a half pages of poetry every day. And not formal poems- prose. Full pages of prose; two and a half of them. Every day.

He has beautiful calligraphy, and a particular love of green ink.

He is designing and plans to make Nami’s engagement and wedding rings.


	3. Straw Hat Pirates: Nami

Second Mate and Chief Navigator. Weather Witch. Very Pregnant. These are the words best used to describe Nami Stormborn, Chief Navigator of the Straw Hat Pirates.

Her favorite crewmate is Taffy; she appreciates her apprentice navigator, and having someone who loves the weather just as much as she does. It’s nice to have someone to talk shop with.

She is the favorite crewmate of Mark; she’s the kind of brave Mark wishes he were. 

 

Her power animal is the  [ House Cat ](https://www.thepurringtonpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/cat-2333413_960_720.jpg) .

Her favorite number is three.

Her favorite color is Orange.

She smells like tangerines, parchment, ink, and money.

Her favorite season is early Summer.

Nami has an even temperature body heat- except, now that she’s pregnant, she’s always complaining of being too hot.

Her favorite foods are tangerines, and all other citrus fruits.

She has a healthy sleep schedule.

 

Her dream is to draw a complete and accurate map of the World. She’ll die of old age before she can manage it; however, one of her children is almost certain to pick it up from her.

 

Her power flower is  [ Sunflower ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helianthus) .

Her birthday is July the Third.

Her star sign is  [ Cancer ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancer_\(astrology\)) or Comet.

She was eighteen at the start of her piracy days; and is now twenty.

Her blood type is X+ (A+).

She bathes every day, and soaks every three days.

She sleeps about eight hours every night, from eleven PM to seven AM.

 

If Nami were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Ehime; sunny, and known for its oranges. She’s actually from the village of Cocoyashi, on Coco Island, in the Comni Archipelago of Est.

The Comni Archipelago, also known as the Est Fens, are an oceanic plain in Est. Each island in the group is a natural marsh; however, most of the fens were drained several centuries previous to the common era, resulting in flat, easily-flooded, low-lying agricultural regions supported by drainage canals, dykes, drains, and pumping stations. Coco Island produces one of the Four Great Rice varieties: Norten Aroma. (There are Four Great Rices: Estern, Shortie Wes, Norten Aroma, and Sticky Souten. Sky Blue does not have a Rice native to it because the native staple grain of the Fae is  _ maize;  _ not rice at all. The different varieties of rice are not considered interchangeable, either in food preparation or agriculture; each major variety is a completely separate market from other varieties. However, for Faesh purposes, maize and rice  _ are _ interchangeable… except in the production of strong spirits.)

Although Nami grew up in a fairly well regarded tangerine orchard, because there wasn’t much of a market for tangerines (and because their orchard wasn’t big enough for a larger market), money for her family was tight. Things did not get better when Arlong took over her island.

 

If Nami weren’t a pirate, she’d be a childcare worker- probably a live-in nanny, rather than a pre-school teacher.

If Nami were a song, she'd be [this one](https://youtu.be/bUANL9WoB90).

 

Before her two years of study at the Weatheria Institute Tower, all Nami could really cook was chicken roast with orange sauce (technically, it’s duck l’orange with a substitution of chicken for duck,); after her studies, she can also cook curried chicken, lhasi, rice, tandoori kebabs, and naan.

Nami wears simple flats, loose fisherman pants, and loose shirts, along with a saree as a support for her baby-Pudge. Mab likes making clothing for Nami, mostly because of the challenge involved in adding in secret pockets invisible from the outside of the garment.

 

Nami had sex with Sanji before they went to the Grand Line at least five times. The first time was in Cocoyashi during the three day celebration party; the last time was in Loguetown, when they both decided they were better as friends.

Nami noticed Mab’s genuine interest in Sanji long before either Mab or Sanji did, and subtly played matchmaker for them. The fact that Mab didn’t notice her doing this means that she was, in fact, subtle.

Nami can drink everyone except Sanji under the table. 

Nami would totally smooch a ghost if you bet money she wouldn’t.

 

Nami hates the smell of tattoo ink; she hates the taste of Orangette.

Her favorite food is Tangerines, although Zappy Bananas and Szechuan Pepper-powder is a close second, especially while she’s pregnant.

 

She is betrothed to Zoro; he proposed to her in his oddly romantic, Zoro way. There was poetry, and they talked about it quite a bit before-hand- up to and including Zoro asking Nami extensive questions about the kinds of jewelry she liked, and what he should definitely leave out.

 

Her favorite activity, when she isn’t drawing a new map or navigating dangerous terrain, is cuddling up next to a napping Zoro. It never fails to make him smile in his sleep; and seeing that never fails to make Nami smile, too.

 

Fun Fact: Nami has webbed toes. There’s a small patch of vermillion hair on the back of her head; it grows in opposite orientation to the rest of her coppery-orange hair.

She doesn’t know that many hairstyles; Zoro does her hair for her, when she wants a special updo.

The one treasure that Nami will never sell, no matter the price, is the necklace and earring set Zoro used to propose marriage to her.


	4. Straw Hat Pirates: Usopp

Straw Hats Sniper. Extremely tough. Sobbing coward. These are the words that best describe Usopp Sharpeye, Straw Hats Sniper.

His favorite crewmate is Zoro and Mab; Zoro has a lot of weird skills with strange stories behind them; Mab also has a lot of weird skills with weirder stories connected to them that are all entirely true. Usopp’s tall tales are all basically lies-that-come-true; Zoro’s tall tales are things that actually happened to him, while Mab’s tales are stories of things that not only actually happened, but could in time happen again.

He’s the favorite crewmate of Sanji. This is because Usopp will give a very well reasoned, very detailed review of any dish Sanji feeds him. Usopp will go into exhaustive detail, if you let him get going; Sanji actually admires his exuberant love of history, and how deep he’s willing to go to understand something.

 

Usopp’s power animal is the Armadillo.

His favorite number is four.

His favorite color is yellow.

He smells like gunpowder.

His favorite season is very late Summer.

He has an even body temperature- not too hot or cold.

His favorite food is pike, and other freshwater fish in the proper season.

He doesn’t have the healthiest sleeping schedule.

 

His dream is to become a Brave Man of the Sea- but maybe not exactly like his father before him. Growing up is hard and confusing; thankfully, he has friends who understand.

 

His power flower is the  [ Gerbera Daisy ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerbera) , the sexiest of all daisies.

His birthday is  [ April the First ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Fools%27_Day) .

His star sign is  [ Aries ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aries_\(astrology\)) or Fountain of Life.

At the start of his adventure, he was seventeen; he is currently nineteen.

His blood type is S+ (O+).

He bathes every three days, and rinses off if he’s been tinkering, which is not every day.

He sleeps about seven hours a day, between the hours of one and eight AM.

 

If he were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Kanagawa, which is a well off suburb, right near a big military base. He’s actually from Gecko Island in Est, one of the old Sharpeye Kingdom outposts.

The Sharpeyes were a clan of warriors, primarily archers, who excelled in protecting borders and keeping watch. Their kingdoms- for they had many- stretched all across the World. After the Folk-war, their clan scattered; most Sharpeyes live in the Boinsea now, or Zou… because the majority of Sharpeyes were Minks.

 

If Usopp weren’t a pirate, he’d be a graphic designer.

If Usopp were a song, he’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/OloXRhesab0) .

Before his time in the Boinsea, the only things Usopp could really cook were fish and chips- as in french fries, but chunkier; postskip, he can do most kinds of wild game meat, several kinds of stew, and at least six different desserts. Allegria Sharpeye got bored and there’s only so many times he could make himself hunt in a week. 

He wears very flexible boots meant for heavy wear, loose overalls, a supportive sash-belt, and a variety of shirts. Usopp usually never gives Mab trouble about clothing, but he does need regular washes of all his clothes, otherwise he risks self-immolation.

He hates the smell of antiseptic; he hates the taste of mushrooms.

Usopp’s favorite food is peanuts.

 

Usopp stumbled into a polyamorous Relationship with Luffy and Mark at Water 7 and never looked back. He actually genuinely loves them both. He hasn’t yet confronted his feelings for Kaya, but that’s coming eventually. Give the man a break- he’s only just started confronting his feelings about his father, let alone his… idol? Crush?

He ended up impregnating Malila Bowyer Moga in response to her plea for his help in keeping her honor and her Dream; abiding by native traditions has never been so ambiguously moral.

Usopp has also decided to be a better father than his was for him, regardless of whether or not he loves his first children’s mother. His first children are named Sharpeye Chusopp and Moga Banlila. 

 

Fun Fact: Sharpeye Chusopp will follow in his mother’s footsteps, becoming one of the best Guardian Hunter’s Moga Village has ever had. Moga Banlila will become one of the World’s finest mages.

Usopp is allergic to silver, and is developing an allergy to explosive potassium. Not an aggressive allergy, mind- if he eats with real silverware, for example, he feels a sensation not unlike being shocked with electricity on his tongue. It’s similar with potassium.

When unbraided and combed through properly, his hair nearly reaches his ankles; however, Usopp almost never unbraids his hair. Luffy and Mark take great pleasure in helping him with it, as it’s a mark of his trust in them, and their overall intimacy. Also, he wouldn’t be able to keep his hair so long without their help.


	5. Straw Hat Pirates: Sanji

Straw Hats Head Chef. Wanted, but only Alive. Unrelenting sex pervert. These are the words best used to describe Vinsmoke Sanji, Straw Hats Head Chef.

 

His favorite crewmate is Usopp. Usopp will give Sanji extensive reviews on just about anything he cooks if he asks; and Usopp will turn in a fucking _research paper,_ not a magazine article. The man is enthusiastic, in depth, and absurdly critical. Sanji fucking loves that shit; Sanji also admires Usopp’s work ethic, and his genuine love and near-exhaustive interest in every aspect of his craft. Like responds to like.

He is the favorite crewmate of Mark. Mark considers Sanji to be the kind of man one should aspire to be like; honorable, strong in the real way, loving and gentle, stern and unyielding. The kind of man Mark wants to be when he grows up, really. He picked up from various stories and his own observations that Sanji was a very different man before he married Mab; and the man he is now only exists because he decided to become better (not exactly for her, or so he thinks- Mark isn’t terribly clear if Mab used Feminine Wiles on Sanji, or if it really was his idea to stop being an inflexible misogynist. The fact that Mab and Sanji only smile and change the subject when asked outright has not helped matters.) Zoro also considers Sanji his favorite, for stated reasons.

 

His power animal is the [ Wood Duck ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wood_duck).

His favorite number is five.

His favorite color is navy blue.

He smells like clove cigarettes and seafood.

His favorite seasons are all the ones where women- especially his wife, Mab- wear skimpy clothing.

He has tHE **HOTTEST** BODY TEMPERATURE OF THE ENTIRE CREW.

His favorite food is spicy seafood pasta.

He sleeps an astoundingly short amount of time- although, with the addition of “Wifey-nap-time”, he’s rounded up quite a bit.

 

Sanji’s dream is to find All Blue, a mythical Sea where all the fish of the World can be caught. If it exists, he will find it- or, more likely, he’ll figure out something Very Important about it.

 

His power flower is [ Delphinium ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delphinium).

His birthday is March the Second.

His star sign is [ Pisces ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pisces_\(astrology\)), or Fish.

He was nineteen at the start of his adventure, and is now twenty-one.

His blood type is S- (O-).

Sanji scrubs every day in the morning, and rinses off at the end of every day. He soaks every two weeks.

Sanji slept about five hours a day between the hours of twelve and five AM; he has since expanded this to six hours a day by going to bed at eleven PM.

 

If Sanji were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Kyoto. Kyoto has so many historical sites on it, you could throw a punch and hit one; don’t judge it by it’s main train station location, as modern urban planning was out to lunch that day.

 

Sanji is from Germa Kingdom, on France Island. Technically, that island is in the North Blue.

 

If Sanji weren’t a pirate, he’d be a beauty salon worker- a hairdresser, actually.

If Sanji were a song, it’d be [ this one ](https://youtu.be/Qc11_jkOKx0).

 

Before he trained on Momoiro Island, the few cuisines he really couldn’t cook were all Tribe-specific. Each Tribe- Man, Tall, Long, and so on- has their own distinctive culture, and their own distinctive cuisine. Faesh cuisine and Mer-Gyo cuisine are particularly difficult to break into; Faesh cuisine will outright **_kill people_ ** if improperly prepared, and Long cuisine considers texture as important an element in food as any other. While Faesh cuisine is fairly accessible to the outsider, Long cuisine is not- mostly because, most people have never been exposed to real Long food. General Cho’s Chicken, Wantan Soup, and Duck Fried Rice? Those are all inventions of Long-tribesmembers who were longing for a taste of home… but didn’t actually know how to cook what they were missing. Meanwhile, almost everyone thinks Faesh cuisine stops at curry, never realizing that _curry doesn’t exist in any of the Fae-lands._

Curry is not a Faesh dish because the precise selection of spices for each named dish is a matter of national and regional cultural tradition, religious practice, and familial preference. The name of a Faesh dish refers to it’s ingredients, spicing, and cooking methods. (Tandoori means, basically, cooked in a tandoor, which is a kind of oven.)

So called Faesh Curry Powder is an invention of Whole Cake Island, dating to the eighth century.   **_No one in any Fae country ever, but never ever uses it; until Mab really got to know Sanji and started teaching him Faesh cuisine, she hadn’t heard the word at all. Ever._ **

After his training on Momoiro Island, Sanji can use a basic Faesh menu, and is developing his mastery of Attack Cuisine, which is native to Kamabakka Queendom.

 

Sanji wears fine silk, cotton, and linen shirts, wool or linen double-breasted suits, and derby shoes. He has a very distinctive kind of propriety, and would never wear what he considers “the wrong clothing” to a specific event unless he had to. He also wears various female-coded clothing to titillate Mab. He’s discovered a distinctive liking of geometric lace, paisley, very bright colors, and cashmere.

  


Nort was conquered several times by Germa; thus, Norten sensibilities are very patriarchal, and not in a good way.

Sanji was heavily abused for his genuine like and love of so-called feminine pursuits. For the Norten, cooking, fighting with the lower half of the body, bright colors, and an enjoyment of romance is all considered feminine. Norten people are also quicker than most to objectify themselves and others, which is… disturbing, for Sanji. It was disturbing for him as a child, and it’s more disturbing now.

If you’re having trouble defining what Germa Kingdom is like, it’s a horrible cross of all the worst parts of France and all the best parts of Russia- Tribe-ism, misogyny, snootyness, food regulations, and vast untamed wilderness.

Sanji is an actual honest to god prince, and while he may not put any importance on the fact, some things just stick with you. It’s for this reason that he _could not_ , not would not, **_could not_ ** , treat Mab as another woman once they had introduced themselves. On a very fundamental level, Sanji and Mab are equals. Part of Sanji’s major growth as a person was internalizing Mab’s equality with himself, and unlearning the toxic coping methods he developed as a child to deal with his social isolation.

Sanji has a pair of tattoos around each arm which denote his marriage to Mab. He has another, yoke-like tattoo across his back and shoulders in a special ink. He knows he has it, but it’s been so long...

Sanji has the Norten Stripe, a mark of Lineage from the Nort; it looks like a streak of warpaint across the apples of each cheek and the bridge of the nose in bright, blood-colored red. If he’s showing the Stripe, he means Serious Business. If his hair has turned black, all bets are off- because, you see, Judge Vinsmoke’s experiments were not a failure on his third son. Sanji came out **_different_ ** from his siblings because Sanji is the most like his ancient ancestor, Udoroth Demon-lord, and his most ancient ancestor, Kostecki the Deathless. Sanji is Dangerous; poison will not kill him, nor will extreme temperature, shock, or any other number of things that most people would expect to kill a man.

  


Sanji hates the smell of rotting food; he hates the taste of Konjac.

His favorite food is everything, especially seafood; but the things he tends to make for himself are absurdly simple, nearly childish. Spicy seafood pasta salad is his real favorite dish, and that’s just spicy seafood pasta that’s cold from the day before with some grapes sliced in.

 

Fun Fact: Sanji’s full, legally-binding name is Rasputin Symo Ottar Tristan Vinsmoke Jaji. Sanji is more like a baby-name, or a place-name; it’s not actually his name, and he can’t sign legal documents with it.

Mab’s very favorite nickname for him is Raspberry. She’s also writing a fairly bawdy song about their marriage, so no one else does it first.

 

He is so hairy. So, so hairy. Mab has invested in a sticky roller specifically for all the shed hair Sanji leaves in their bedding- it’s not like lint or dirt, it doesn’t just wash out. Mab can also have a quick rummage through his chest bush for static, which she then uses to prank people. That’s how hairy he is.

 

Sanji’s full title is “His Royal Highness, Prince Rasputin Symo Ottar Tristan Vinsmoke Jaji; Prince of the Smoking Vine, Earl of Morgan, Duke of Lvneel, Duke of Flevnce, Duke of Miqueot, Earl of Kapal, Baron of Diamont, Lord of the Fields and Prince and Good Steward of the Sacred Realm.” All of the places listed under his title and name are either worthless, barren, or have been undergoing civil wars for the past century.

 

Sanji owns several areas of land, islands, fields, stretches of coast, fishing rights- and in Germa Kingdom, in the capital city of Paris, a derelict Townhouse.


	6. Straw Hat Pirates: Mab

Straw Hats Quartermaster. Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know- the kind of Mage legends require. Unflappable in the face of all possible and impossible things. These are the words that best describe Mab Morgan, Straw Hats Quartermaster.

Her favorite crewmate is Robin. They click as friends, and that’s rare for Mab.

She is Robin’s favorite crewmate, probably because she knows what it’s like to have a horrifying secret past, and doesn’t care about Robin’s horrifying secret past at all. 

 

Her power animal is the  [ Scorpion ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scorpion) .

Her favorite number is seven.

Her favorite color is brown.

She smells like laundry detergent (lye) and honeysuckle (a mixture of lavender and honey).

She has a very cool body temperature, and always has cold hands. Like startlingly, almost painfully cold hands.

Her favorite season is the hottest part of Summer.

Her favorite food is pickled vegetables.

She has a very brief sleeping schedule, along with medically important naps.

 

Mab’s dream is to get married, have a family to care for, and be happy. Two out of three so far; still working on that ‘be happy’ part.

 

Her power flower is  [ Moss ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moss) .

Her birthday is July the Twelfth. Her only named child, Puck, was born and died on April the Twelfth. 

Her star sign is Cancer, or Comet.

Her age at the start of her adventure was twenty; she is currently twenty-two.

Her blood type is XF+ (AB+).

She scrubs daily, and soaks every three days or once a week.

Mab sleeps about six hours per night between the hours of eleven PM and five AM.

 

If she were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Tokyo. For comparison, if New York and Boston were the same place, and run like a small country… Fire and Fighting are the flowers of Tokyo. Mab is actually from Sky Blue, called Skua in this story.  [ The sky is  _ definitely _ an ocean ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aeroplankton) \- a more advanced ocean than our own, but certainly an ocean. All things native to Skua have their own Haki; thus, all people of Skua activate their Haki almost before they’re born. This skill eventually became codified and advanced as  **_Magic_ ** ; and Mab could very definitely teach the strongest Haki users of the crew magic… if they asked.

 

If Mab weren’t a pirate, she’d be a stay-at-home mom. Or a tenured college professor- not that those things necessarily have to be different people.

If Mab were a song, it’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/JDG2m5hN1vo) .

 

Before her two years training, she could cook most anything meant for a farm- cheese, veg, meats, anything. After her training, she can cook just about any kind of Faesh dish, but she won’t particularly enjoy doing it.

 

Mab wears backless shirts, long pants, and soft leather shoes. This is because she has a pair of dragonfly-like wings, and can fly with them. She always has a carpet bag purse that she can pull almost anything out of, but this is just boffo- she only needs to close one eye to pull out a new Trick. Her spear is named Kaladanda.

Mab has three tattoos; the one around her arms matches Sanji’s. The one around her neck stands in for her necklace of beetles- it’s a medical device tattoo. There are seven stars across her clavicles; the stars have the ocean in them.

 

Mab was trained and practiced as many, many things before she became the Straw Hats Quartermaster. These include midwifery, nursing, dancing, acting, sleight of hand, acrocombatics, and mathemagic. She’s a fully accredited mage, a master spearfighter, and working on her mastery of fabrics. There’s very little she’s actually outright bad at- and, unfortunately for her past self, what she’s bad at is being a princess. She’s not half-bad at being a queen, however.

Due to the nature of the Fae, Mab knows secrets, history, and mysteries about the World that no one, not even Robin, knows. There are some things Mab is Forbidden from saying aloud, even alluding to- and to break that Oath would be her life’s blood wasted.

Mab is Very Dangerous.

 

Mab hates the smell of molasses; she hates the taste of human flesh.

There are only two kinds of food in the World; there’s food Mab’s eaten, and food she hasn’t eaten yet- but her absolute favorite food is pickled cow eyes with cheese curds and honey.

 

Fun Fact: Mab speaks about six or seven languages.

Mab can deadlift the Thousand Sunny with only herself, Bryony’s Lasso, and her own wings.

Mab made the Sea of Monsters for two reasons; the one she’ll never say aloud is her immense guilt for having slain Maria the Tiktik.

Mab is actually very delicate when she’s pregnant- specifically, her mood affects her ability to  _ stay _ pregnant. The happier she is, the more likely she is to bring her pregnancy to term.

Mab’s left breast is larger than her right- only a little bit, though.

Mab’s true name is never, ever spoken aloud; her full title is “Mab the Third, by the Grace of Herself that Sits on the Edge of Time, Crown Royal of the Shadows, Defender of the Fae.”

Mab can walk into any Bank in the World, show them a card, and have them buy and sell anything she wants- without question or hesitation. She's  _that_ absurdly wealthy.


	7. Straw Hat Pirates: Chopper

Straw Hats Doctor. Pharmacologist. Man-deer, or deer-man, or something beyond both- but not quite a Mink, either. These are the words that best describe Tony Tony Chopper, Straw Hats Doctor.

 

His favorite crewmate is Mark; Mark never does stupid shit that makes him have to redo all his stitches or reapply bandaging or get out the extra strength sedatives or use the Extra Stingy Mercurochrome ( _ now with two hundred percent extra sting in every bottle! _ ) or want to scream and scream and scream because  **_what if he’s not good enough what if they don’t listen to him again and that’s what kills them what if he’s too slow what if what if what if-_ ** no. Mark never makes him feel like that.

He’s the favorite crewmate of Taffy. Taffy thinks he’s supremely dedicated to his craft, and the best doctor, like, ever. Our Taffy is a very simple lass.

 

His power animal is the  [ Red Panda ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_panda) .

His favorite number is six.

His favorite color is pink.

He smells like wet sheep and medicine.

He has a hot body temperature.

His favorite time of year is late Winter to early Spring.

His favorite food is sweets.

He sleeps quite a lot, actually.

 

Chopper’s dream is to Cure Every Disease; he’s actually more likely to innovate new types of vaccines, medicines, and treatments for every kind of disease, including things that are thought to be untreatable, like Amber Lead Syndrome, Cancer, and White Death.

 

His power flower is  [ Tulip ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulip) .

His birthday is  [ December the Twenty Fourth ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_Eve) .

His star sign is Capricorn or Chimera.

He was fifteen years old at the start of his adventure; he is currently seventeen.

His blood type is X+ (A+).

He rinses and brushes every day; he scrubs once every three weeks, due to his fur. Each Spring, he needs help with getting to all his winter coat in a timely manner; each late Summer to early Autumn, he drops his horns.

He sleeps about ten hours between the hours of nine PM and seven AM, with naps that do not exceed ninety minutes if he’s had a busy day.

 

If Chopper were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Toyama. Toyama is known for it’s beautiful farmhouses and rustic charm; a place with very pretty natural tourism… that’s also very cold. Chopper’s actually from Sakura Kingdom, on the Line.

 

If he weren’t a pirate, he’d be an elementary school teacher.

If he were a song, it’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/rju59Erwjw8) .

 

Before training in the Torino Kingdom, the only thing Chopper could really cook was mixed fruit juice. After training, he can make smoothies, cookies, cakes, fruit tarts, and most anything in a crockpot, slow-cooker, or meant to be boiled for several hours untouched. Chopper’s actually a very good baker and simple cook, he just doesn’t have time or need, usually.

 

Chopper wears loose t-shirts and shorts, a “small” backpack that holds way more than most people think it probably shoud, and a pink top hat. Mab considers designing every-day wear for Chopper a wonderful challenge; because his clothing has to fit no matter what form he’s in. Be it  [ man ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/62/a4/28/62a4280773937c2898c4a4b63a67de24.jpg) , or  [ beast ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/05/a3/74/05a374e887caabe8dbc4e3c0315a7efe.jpg) , or something  [ strange-between ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/4c/69/be/4c69becf4c47ea3732c4c644766755f5.jpg) ; his clothing must fit, his pack must stay on his back.

 

Chopper’s mother was color-blind, which is why he survived to eat the Hito-Hito: Model: Human at all. She lost her eye protecting him from the herd’s lead doe, who tried to kill him for having a blue nose. Chopper’s mother died in a Laphan ambush. Chopper remembers her fondly, and got a lot of his upright and do-good nature from her.

There is a legend passed down amongst the deer- not just reindeer, but all deer have a version of it- that says there is a river in heaven beside which all the good herbs of the earth can be found. If a deer finds themselves in some kind of trouble, they need only chew or eat or drink the juices of these herbs to become healed. Thus, his Dream- to make medicines that can cure all diseases and ailments, indeed if such is possible. He translates the concept as Panacea, but he also understands that “Panacea” isn’t quite what he’s trying to make, as that is flatly impossible.

He’s the least judgy of all the Straw Hats; when it comes to medical concerns, he will never, but never pass personal judgement on the circumstances. That’s not his concern at all. 

Unless his patient is a clear and present danger to themselves, or members of the crew, he’ll keep his patient’s ailments secret, and take them to his grave.

 

Chpper hates the smell of blood; he hates the taste of all spicy foods.

Chopper’s very favorite food is cherry-squidberry soda.

 

Chopper is almost certainly demisexual, and very confused about this whole Sex and Romance thing. He’s taking it slow and is wondering if puberty has even hit him yet. It totally has, it’s just- slow. Pray for him; his libido will be neither subtle nor easily tamed.

Chopper’s favorite activity is working through a big book of sudoku puzzles.

 

Fun Fact: Chopper can lick his elbows in all forms. To be fair, so can Luffy, but Chopper doesn’t need to use his Devil Fruit to do it. Ever.

In Demi-human form- when he’s most self-confident and assured- he gets mistaken for an  _ extremely handsome _ Mink. He would be allowed a Sulong form if, and only if, he became an initiate of the Moon Lion faith.

Chopper’s nails are always black, no matter what his form is; if he gets them painted, the paint stays on as well. Stickers, however, do not.

Chopper wants a tattoo, but is waiting until his coat blows out to get one so that he doesn’t have to shave too much hair away.

Chopper can talk to all animals, but has a mental block where deer are concerned.


	8. Straw Hat Pirates: Robin

Straw Hats Archaeologist. Spy. Horror Enthusiast. These are the words that best describe Nico Robin, Straw Hats Archaeologist.

 

Her favorite crewmate is Mab. Mab is one of the first friends she’s ever had who learned everything about her, and not only didn’t care, but had a very similar backstory- similar enough to empathize, not sympathize.

She is the favorite crewmate of Franky and Ellie, and Mab. Franky likes her because he’s a bit more than half in love with her, and they have the same religion. Ellie likes her because she’s never had a teacher know about her Thief-thing, and not only not disapprove, but actively encourage her to be better at it. Mab likes her for reasons mentioned previously. 

She’s going to become a sort of spiritual advisor to Mendy May and Oz, but that hasn’t happened yet because it’s not quite spring yet. Give it time.

 

Her power animal is the  [ Crane ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crane_\(bird\)) .

Her favorite number is eight.

Her favorite color is purple.

She smells like Chanel No. 5, a mixture of jasmine, rose, sandalwood, and vanilla.

She has an even temperature body, not too hot or cold.

Her favorite season is early to mid Autumn.

Her favorite food is anything that pairs well with coffee.

She doesn’t have the best sleeping schedule.

 

Robin’s dream is to find the True History of the World; she’s gonna do it. Gonna find it, she is.

 

Her power flower is  [ Casablanca ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilium) .

Her birthday is  [ February the Sixth ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AD_60) .

Her star sign is Aquarius or Wave.

Before her adventure, she was twenty eight; she is currently thirty.

Her blood type is S+ (O+).

She rinses every day, and scrubs every other day.

She sleeps about seven hours per night between the hours of eleven PM and six AM.

 

If she were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Osaka. It’s a big city full of cheap street food. The worst sushi in Japan is in Osaka; otherwise, ask a local for directions to the good shit.

Robin is actually from Ohara, which was an island in the West Blue, called Wes. She doesn’t talk about it much- but! Ohara the Scholar was the first leader of her particular branch of the Scariba, one of Galatea’s forty living children. He traded with Queen Ariel for an apple tree, which he planted on the island where the people of Ohara lived. That apple tree would grow to prodigious size, and bear the Name of  **Knowing.** The Oharan Scariba were knowledge keepers, some of the administrators of Chronos.

 

If she weren’t a pirate, she’d be a Librarian.

If she were a song, she’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/UTWz4Wsi5AE) .

 

Before her time with the Revolutionary Army, Robin could only really cook boiled food, stew, and other camp foods. After her time with the Revolutionary Army, she can cook paella, arros negre, fideua, and coffee liqueur. (Robin’s coffee liqueur is  _ strong medicine _ .)

 

Robin wears thigh-high boots, short shorts, and zip-up shirts. Think Lara Croft. The first journal she ever kept for  _ herself _ , not as notes for her Dream, came from Mab’s own two hands. This was the start of a series of gestures Mab would make to Robin to help her see Mab as her own person, separate from her sire. 

Robin was deeply traumatized by the destruction of her home island, Ohara, which was led by the Vice Admiral, Aokiji. Aokiji is also Mab’s sire, and Mab looks  _ startlingly _ like him when her hair is short; when her hair is long, Mab looks like her mothers, Morgan and Rouge. For a while there, Robin couldn’t even look at Mab, much less speak to her; new glasses and a haircut helped. Mab is not Aokiji, dammit.

Mab and Robin are actually the closest thing to best friends either woman has ever had.

 

Robin hates the smell of industrial garbage; she hates the taste of gum. 

Her favorite food is black coffee.

 

She’d marry Franky, if Franky were the marrying type. Although she knows that Franky would never raise them with her, and it’s unspeakably dangerous… well, if Zoro and Nami are doing it, why can’t she have children? She’s got an on-again, off-again relationship with Franky though, so maybe not…

 

Her favorite activity is watercolor painting.


	9. Straw Hats Pirates: Mark

Straw Hats Gunslinger. Farmer. Absurdly strong swimmer. Fraternal Twin. These are the words that best describe Mark Merry Reed, Straw Hats Gunslinger.

 

His favorite crewmate is Taffy. Mark really and truly admires Taffy’s self control; she has a foul, black temper and never shows it until it’s far, far too late. Basically, Taffy’s always about six seconds away from brutally murdering a dude; the only reason she doesn’t is so far, her willpower has always exceeded her unrelenting bloodlust.

He’s Franky’s favorite crewmate. Franky admires Mark’s grit, and his dutiful nature.

 

His power animal is the  [ Bombardier Beetle ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombardier_beetle) .

His favorite number is eighteen.

His favorite color is red.

He smells like seawater, gunpowder, and tar.

He has a cold body temperature.

His favorite kind of weather is calm weather; season doesn’t really matter.

His favorite food is anything with Chaat Masala on it (corn, mango, anything), or chai tea.

He doesn’t have a bedtime.

 

Mark has no real dream to speak of, but he greatly enjoys keeping the Sunny’s farm in order, and has high hopes that this year’s crops and stock- particularly the goats, the doves, the bee honey, and the pigs (if he can get them to weight)- will ribbon at the Inter-state Fair. He doesn’t quite dare hope for a blue ribbon, but that would be very fine indeed.

Interstate fairs began in the ninth century for the purpose of promoting international agriculture, through competitive exhibitions of livestock and display of farm products. As the World continues to evolve from a predominantly agrarian to an industrial society, and further into a service economy, modern interstate fairs have expanded to include carnival amusements such as rides and games; displays of industrial products; broom, boat, and land races; and live entertainment such as musical concerts or circastics. A large fair, such as the Foire Royal d’État of Germa Kingdom, the Demóstracion de la Agricultura of Dressrosa, or even the Aonach Contae of Fairisle, can admit more than a million visitors over the course of a week or two.

Mark has steadily improved the Sunny’s farmstock to the point where, yes indeed, it could compete on the international scale.

The bees, in particular, always gave very fine honey, pollen, and wax; diversifying their floral palette has only improved and deepened the flavor of their honey, the quality and collection of their pollen, and the melting quality of their wax. Mark thinks, and quite rightly, that the Straw Hat Bees are some of the Best in the World. Mark doesn’t know that the Bees aren’t, technically speaking, bees- they have more in common with hornets. He also doesn’t know there’s a category at the Interstate Fair for spiders.

 

His power flower is  [ Sea Hibiscus ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hibiscus_tiliaceus) .

His birthday is September the Twenty Second.

His star sign is Libra, or Sword and Scales.

Before his two years with the circus and alone, he was eighteen; he is currently twenty.

His blood type is X+ (O+).

He scrubs down once a week and rinses daily.

He sleeps about eight hours at a time, but has no set bedtime to speak of. He is in the habit of getting up and going at about four-thirty to five AM, no matter what he did yesterday or when he got to sleep. Goats only milk themselves if they’ve got kids; and they still need to be fed, let out to pasture, and so on.

 

If he were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Niigata, which is prime farm country. Mark’s actually from Water 7 on the Line, though his sister was from Est. The circumstances of Mark’s birth are strange- but all you really need to know to understand him is this. 

Merry Mark Reed was his twin sister; Merry Mark Reed was the full, true Name of Going Merry, the Straw Hats first ship. She died at Water 7; Mark was left behind.

It took the two years apart from the crew for Mark to be able to process his grief; he’s not past it, and probably never will be entirely, but he at least managed to process it.

 

If he weren’t a pirate, he’d still be a farmer.

If he were a song, he’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/DJx0-eCIvUg) .

 

Mark wears red work boots, full pants that move like a skirt, vests that flatten his chest, and white button up shirts. He also has a heavy leather gun belt with ammo pouch; two large guns (Beluga Blunderbus), a pair of smaller pistols (Dolphin Pistols), and a full complement of various kinds of ammo. He has his regular salt-water rounds, which he can use to sink ships and break walls. He has special mist rounds, which are best for creating distracting cover. He has sparking firework rounds, which are for signalling. He even has biochemical rounds, which are… not for enclosed spaces, and we’ll leave it at that. All of his regular ammo can be fired out of his big guns or small pistols. The only difference is how much force his guns can bring to bear versus his pistols; his guns will  _ definitely  _ kill you if they hit, while his pistols will only  _ possibly _ kill.

 

Mark kind of used to **_be_ ** the Going Merry, but due to the overall dysmorphia of becoming self-ambulatory, and human, has decided that he’s in fact Going Merry’s brother, a Djinni, and a man. He’s further decided that he’s a man with a fully functioning uterus and vagina, and that’s okay. Mark’s still not entirely okay with his body, but he might never be, honestly. 

He looks a hell of a lot like a young Shanks.

Mark shoots water guns, both the original version meant for anti-ship maneuvers, and newer, smaller versions that are more or less defanged- he can still kill someone if he hits them in the right spot, but it’s much more likely he’ll just bruise or break a bone with them. He carries between four and six guns with him; two beluga-busses, and two or four water pistols.

 

Mark has two boyfriends, Luffy and Usopp. He has made plans to eventually have children by both of them, which will be an adventure in and of itself. 

 

Mark hates the smell of burning tar; he hates the taste of milk fudge. His favorite food is saltines.

 

His favorite activity is dancing.


	10. Straw Hat Pirates: Taffy

Straw Hats Ninja. Pointy hair. Opera clown. These are the words that best describe Dracule “Laffy Taffy” Taffeta, Straw Hats Ninja.

 

Taffy’s favorite crewmate is Chopper, for stated reasons.

She’s the favorite crewmate of LITERALLY EVERYONE. If Luffy dies, but the Hat makes it, Taffy gets the Hat.

 

Her power animal is the  [ Fox ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fox) .

Her favorite number is sixty nine.

Her favorite color is silver.

She smells like baby powder.

She has a hot body temperature.

Her favorite weather is cool and nasty; Season doesn’t matter.

Her favorite food is honeycrisp apple cider.

She has a short sleeping schedule.

 

Taffy’s dream is to become one of the Greatest Ninjas in the World- however, because she wants to be a great  _ ninja _ , she can never say straight out that she wants to be a Great Ninja, or even that she  _ is _ a ninja.

 

Her power flower is  [ Foxglove ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digitalis) .

Her birthday is August the Fifteenth.

Her star sign is Virgo, or Lover.

She was eighteen before she trained for two years on Amazon Lily; she is currently twenty years old.

Her blood type is S+ (O+).

She bathes daily- scrubbing, rinsing, everything.

She sleeps about five hours per night between twelve and five AM.

 

If she were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Nara. It’s people are known for being calm, smart, and business illiterate. She’s actually from Birka, in Skua. The entirety of the sky is Sky Blue, or Skua; the ocean underneath has no bearing on if the sky is the sky, after all. Sky Blue is a Blue Sea; but it's often very complicated to say if it's stronger or weaker than the other blues, simply because of it's sheer vastness. It's certainly the  _largest_ of the Blues, and the deepest. Er, tallest?

 

If she weren’t a pirate, she’d be a circus clown and acrobat.

If she were a song, it’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/uC0jw3jAhpg) .

 

Before her training on Amazon Lily, all she could cook was hard candy; after her training, she can make all kinds of sweets. She’s absurdly good at making delicious image candy; she’s probably going to make some for Oz’s Gatch Mitzvah.

 

Taffy wears snappy suits cut for a woman’s shape, bolero jackets, and sneaking shoes- sometimes they’re sneakers, sometimes they’re spectator shoes. Over her pants and shoes sits a pair of gigantic, absurdly long and puffy legwarmers; they scrunch over her legs so much, one could be forgiven for thinking she doesn’t have ankles. She keeps poisons, lockpicks, and other tools of skullduggery in her legwarmers.

 

Taffy was born on Birka, during Enel’s Occupation. She gained human form after joining the Straw Hats, as well as a distinctively clownish bloodlust.

Taffy carries the legendary Wano sword, Kusanagi. Kusanagi was a sword before she was a woman, and swords can’t drown- this is why the Hito Hito Model: Woman hasn’t been seen in the World for so long that it’s not even considered a thing.

Taffy can talk to snakes best, but like Chopper, she can talk to all animals. Her snake companion is an albino boa constrictor named Banana. Banana can strangle or crush a ribcage in a bit less than five seconds; she’s very big, very long, and absurdly strong. Taffy wears her like a shrug or a scarf.

Taffy has two large wings patterned like a gyrfalcons. Her wings have five claws at the “wrist” joint that act like fingers; and her wings can maneuver just like arms. Practically speaking, Taffy has four arms; if she had to, she could use four swords.

 

The difference between Zoro and Taffy is this- Zoro will give his life for his crew and captain. Taffy will give her honor for her crew and captain. Zoro would never strike an enemy’s back. Taffy would, without hesitation. Taffy doesn’t flinch at making hard decisions- such as, say, getting a noncombatant to safety when her crew is being attacked by a superior force- and she doesn’t forget slights. Reputations don’t scare her; threats don’t scare her; she can’t be bribed, led, or fooled.

 

Taffy is bisexual. She has only had two relationships to speak of- one with “Full Throttle” Keimi that ended amicably, and one with Gurry, which is ongoing. She’s his muse and his girlfriend; and as far as either of them know, even if she stops being his muse, she’ll still be his girlfriend.

 

Taffy hates the smell of burnt sugar; she hates the taste of saltwater taffy. Her favorite food is meringue.

 

Taffy’s favorite activity is pressing flowers and making extensive labels for them. She’s got a whole journal full of the many flowers she’s pressed and labelled- with notes about  medicinal uses, flower language meanings, other colors… it’s actually really impressive. As she fills up each journal, she puts a label on the spine and puts the book in the Library.

 

Fun Fact: Taffy sounds like Fran Drescher.

 

There are only three real visual differences between Taffy and her older brother, Mihawk. Firstly, Taffy is about twenty-seven, and Mihawk is about forty-five. Secondly, Taffy doesn’t have a mustache. Thirdly, the pupils of her eyes are slit, not round. That’s it. That’s really all there is. If they were closer in age, or the same gender, they’d get mistaken for each other all the time. As it is now, most people who know of Mihawk and meet Taffy think they’re father and child, not siblings.

 

Taffy can’t really fly; she can glide in strong winds, but she’s got a lot of training to go through before she can achieve full lift from a standing start.

 

Taffy can beat her brother in a sword fight, but she knows if she does she’ll have to fight Zoro, and she’s not about that life, so she never has.


	11. Straw Hat Pirates: Bryony

Chief Communications Officer. First Lady of Song. Storm of the Century. These are the words that best describe Monkey D. Bryony Lovelace, Straw Hats Chief Communications Officer.

 

Her favorite crewmate is Luffy, because he’s the only member of her blood family she’s ever met who isn’t dead, shitty, absent, or otherwise unavailable. Good Captain; Best Cousin.

She is the favorite crewmate of Brook. Bryony has a roulette wheel of inconvenience for a sleeping schedule; but her normal sleep time is usually during the day. This means that she’s at her most aware and present during the hours everyone else is asleep. Thus, she naturally became the Night Watchman, with the duty of keeping an ear on everything that happens on and around the ship. It’s very hard for her to form meaningful bonds with anyone on the crew because she knows too much about them- she’s unwillingly privy to everyone’s intimate secrets, and she can’t just ignore what’s going on, they might need help, there might be an intruder. On the other hand, because she’s often awake at very odd hours, she’s in a position to draw Brook out of his own skull when he traps himself in memories and flashbacks. 

 

Her power animal is the  [ Giant African Land Snail ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lissachatina_fulica) .

Her favorite number is 7.

Her favorite color is turquoise.

She smells like dirt, sweat, and a hint of clarified stock.

Her favorite season is late Spring to early Summer.

Bryony has a cold body temperature.

Her favorite food is a tie between gigantic salads and deep bowls of ramen- any kind or flavor is fine, so long as she doesn’t have to share.

Hahaha, sleep schedule. Basically, she sleeps during the day and is awake at night- and the longer she has to do something opposite to her natural schedule, the more irritable and aggressive she becomes.

 

Bryony wants to make genuine, lasting relationships with other people- friends, crewmates, lovers, children, she wants them bonds, y’all. The thing stopping her is her fundamental distrust of herself- her distrust of her own strength was only a symptom, not the root. Maybe she’ll get past that; and maybe she won’t.

 

Her power flower is  [ Forget-me-not ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myosotis) .

Her birthday is the Twenty Second of September.

Her star sign is Libra or Sword and Scales.

She was eighteen at the start of her adventure, and is currently twenty.

Her blood type is XF+ (AB+).

She bathes daily, but only shampoos her hair every two to three days.

She sleeps approximately ten to twelve hours daily in increments varying between twenty to ninety minutes. The ninety minute naps are where her REM sleep comes from; everything else is just for refreshment and recentering.

 

If Bryony were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Yamagata, which is all about Ramen and Sleeping.

Bryony is actually from the Twin Capes, and there are two stories about how she came to be. The first is in the First Movement of Salt. The other is here: Dragon and his older brother Feng had many differences, chiefest among them the manner in which the World ought be incited to Revolution. Dragon believed in Military Action; Feng believed in Cultural Transformation. This difference in method lead to a serious falling out between the brothers, and Feng left Goa Kingdom when he was sixteen or so. Bryony doesn’t know what happened to him; she doesn’t really know what happened to her birth mother, either. She just has vague memories of being left at the Twin Capes by someone with a beautiful voice and sharp white teeth; dark water becoming brighter and brighter, a sunrise so beautiful- an aching loss. 

The Twin Capes Lighthouse is where Crocus raised her. It was where she developed a serious interest in the  **Language of the Snails** , which of course began her on the path of a true  **Communer** . It was where she first developed a fear of her own terrifying strength; Crocus used to have a cat.

When she was fifteen or so, she decided to set out on her own journey down the Line; catching rides, swimming, and even stowing away on her journey of island hopping, curiously never using or even needing a log pose to find her way. She eventually ended up on Water 7 with Taffy and Mark, and the rest can be found in the First, Second, and Third Movements of Salt.

If she weren’t a pirate, she’d be a DJ/MC with a day-job of being a Zumba/Jazzercise Instructor.

If she were a song, she’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/5PzGocPYKDU) .

The only things she can really cook are carpaccio, mixed drinks, and kombucha. However, she can read and follow a recipe very well indeed- she’ll never be a professional chef, but she’d be alright as a home cook if she had books to work out of.

 

Bryony wears cute swimsuits and basically see-through skirts, or skirts in name only- be they sheer, translucent, genuinely transparent, or made out of feathers. She doesn’t wear shoes if she can help it; either she brings a water bottle and hanky to wash her feet, or a pair of sandals just for wearing indoors. She  _ will not _ wear straw sandals; leather or nothing, baby.

 

Bryony is technically a half Fishwoman; she is also technically a den den mushi and a  [ mantis crab ](https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Crabrawler_\(Pok%C3%A9mon\)) . Her strength and durability are her main physical points of interest, aside from her bodacious curves and adorability points- she’s strong enough to lift any ship in any harbor fully over her head and run off with it, as well as being completely bulletproof. Some people, like Luffy, are bullet proof because of a Devil Fruit. Bryony is bulletproof because  _ she’s fucking bulletproof _ . She’s also strong enough to use her great-uncle Garp’s skill to throw cannonballs like they’re straight up from a cannon; she’s much better at it than him as she started from a much stronger base, and she’s expanded the skill to catching and returning cannonballs as well.

Culturally, Bryony is a Syreene (rhymes with serene), which is a kind of Fae. She wears a cloak of feathers which have individual meanings based on the species of bird each feather came from, and has specific cultural mores and responsibilities that are almost impossible to explain casually. In short, she’s a Gamayun Mossa, one of her nation’s most potent, competent, and  _ powerful _ holy women. Her Skeel companions, Sweet and Sour, aren’t really exactly animals; they’re more like emissaries of a higher power, and come and go as they please. Bryony won’t say which. Is there a God or Goddess she follows, or became a follower of as a Gamayun Mossa? She won’t say; and if people start guessing, she either changes the subject or leaves the room.

She has a Lasso made of pure Love, which is less sappy than it sounds considering it’s properties. She got her lasso by doing a Service for the Scariba of Baltigo; she has not yet used it in battle for a simple reason: it’s a deadly weapon. Remember those trust issues?

She doesn’t consider herself any kind of Fishwoman; she’s a Syreene, which means her gills, if she has them (and she does) aren’t on her shoulders, they’re on her ribcage and hips. Her feathers are canary, blue jay, cardinal, wren, chickadee, and seagull. Her style of fighting comes directly from Floria, a kind of kickboxing known as Goa Muay Thai; that’s not strictly true, but the real name of her martial art is Forbidden to Outsiders.

 

Bryony hates the smell of vomit; she hates the taste of saltines.

Her favorite food is salad, which none of the relatives she’s met so far will try and steal from her; and tonkotsu ramen with all the toppings you can give her, all the noodles in the biggest bowl, extra meat- and if any of her shitty relatives try it, Luffy, Dragon, Garp, she will  _ bite their godsbedamned fingers right the hell off, don’t  _ **_fucking_ ** _ test me on this Cuz. _

 

Scratchmen Apoo has been in love with Bryony’s singing voice since the War of the Best; she’s been aware of him as a cute man since about three days before that time. They went on several dates during the Separation, with their First being recorded in Movement Two. Apoo has actually never dated a woman before- he’s visited brothels, and he’s of course remixed bunches of love songs… but he’s never actually listened and _ understood  _ a love song before trying to date Bryony. They’ve gotten nearly to heavy petting several times, but things keep coming up- be it Marines, giant eels, swarms of hungry locusts, poultrygeists, LP drops, dueling concert scalpers, and once, a Giantess’ Brassiere. That was one hell of a concert.

 

Bryony’s favorite activity is writing songs.

 

Fun Fact: Bryony’s breasts are so large she can actually use them as emergency floatation devices. The only other living persons to know the size of her bust are her female crewmates, who don’t discuss it; and Sabo Teur, who would die before disclosing intimate details like that. Scratchmen Apoo suspects, but he has no proof.

Like seriously, if she didn’t wear her compression bra, or just wore a ‘cute’ bra, she’d look like she had two large melons stuffed down her shirt. Like, absurdly, distractingly huge. Basically, she’s Wonder Woman without the morality.


	12. Straw Hat Pirates: Franky

Straw Hats Shipwright. Cyborg. Super Pervert. Converted to a Judaism analogue. ROBO-JEW! These are the words that best describe Franky, Straw Hats Shipwright.

 

He doesn’t have a favorite crewmate; not Mab, who he coordinates with in matters of quarter, not Robin, his on-and-off lover, not even Fern or Havij, who follow him around like ducklings. There’s enough room in Franky’s SUPER heart for everyone to have their own special place.

He’s the favorite crewmate of Fern, and Nami. Fern really likes that he’ll help her and teach her with any project she asks for help with. It also helps that he’s genuinely friendly, and a good teacher. Nami likes him because he saves her money- Mab too, but mostly Franky.

 

His power animal is  [ Muskox ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskox) .

His favorite number is eight.

His favorite color is robin egg blue.

He smells like cola, WD-40, and the backside of a running refrigerator.

He has a cold body temperature.

His favorite season is late Summer.

His favorite foods are hamburgers and french fries.

He has a slightly odd sleep schedule- nothing actually unhealthy about it, just… odd.

 

Franky’s Dream is to build a ship that can travel around the entire World. So long as he learns how to build Skuan ships, he’ll be quite able to achieve his dream.

 

His power flower is  [ Anemone ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anemone) .

His birthday is the Ninth of March.

His star sign is Pisces or Fish.

He was thirty four at the start of the adventure; he is currently thirty six.

His blood type is XF+ (AB+).

He bathes fully every three days, but rinses off every day.

He sleeps approximately eight hours between the hours of one and nine AM.

 

If he were from a real place in Japan, it’d be Nagasaki, a shipbuilding center with a port that opens out to the sea. He’s actually from Water 7 on the Line. It’s a city that grew larger than it’s island several centuries ago, known Worldwide as one of the best shipbuilding centers currently in existence.

If he weren’t a pirate, he’d be a pilot.

If he were a song, he’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/9PQRrIhY-zU) .

He can only really cook barbecue; about the only thing that changed is his sides and his improvement of sauces and marinades.

 

Franky does not wear shoes, and he does not wear pants; he does wear speedos and very loud tropical print shirts. Mab approves of absolutely none of this, but he’s a grown ass man and if he wants neon floral prints over his genitals, her duty is to provide. Urgh.

He’s an Automaton, which is a religion, not technically a tribe like Fishman or Mink. He has the power to induct other people into his religion, but he’s never actually done it before.

 

Franky hates the smell of burning metal; hates the taste of marshmallows. 

His favorite food is actually popcorn, but he’s never managed to find a variety that goes with cola; thus, he doesn’t actually eat it all that often.

 

His on again off again relationship with Robin is defined by two things- her desire for a family and stability, and his unwillingness to have children. If Robin could accept that Franky doesn’t want kids, he’d marry her in a heartbeat- but she does. If Robin could accept that Franky doesn’t want to be a father, they’d be in a steady relationship. Every time they break up, it’s always about that- they may hide it under other things, but really it’s always that one thing keeping them apart. In every other aspect, they are matched- of a similar age and maturity (don’t let his exuberance fool you), different yet complimentary, and physically very compatible. Thus, the only problem keeping them apart  **_has to be_ ** a fundamental difference in what they want out of their futures. 

So long as it doesn’t interfere with the operation and social climate of the crew, Mab refuses to get involved. (Shirahoshi-hime already had a Talk with Nami and Zoro, so she didn’t get involved).

His favorite activity is actually brushing Robin’s hair; it’s very intimate, and it’s something they do together even when they aren’t  _ together _ .

 

Fun Fact: Franky has an addictive personality. It’s very easy for him to get addicted to all kinds of things, and he works hard to not pick up new bad habits. He has the occasional dark thought that his frequent breakups with Robin are an escalation of his addiction, but Gods he really hopes not. He doesn’t want to pass on the worst of his personality to any child- that’s the real reason he doesn’t want to have kids. But… Robin...


	13. Straw Hat Pirates: Brook

Musician. Soul King. Band Kid That Got Older, But Didn’t Actually Grow Up. These are the words that best describe Brook, Straw Hats Musician.

His favorite crewmates are the entirety of the Musicians, because they remind him of his old crew without actually reminding him too much of his old crew at all.

He’s the favorite crewmate of Bryony because their wake-sleep patterns sync more often than not.

 

His power animal is the Water Horse.

His favorite number is nine.

His favorite color is black and white.

He smells like tea.

His favorite season is a light, cool Autumn.

Brook has a cold (the coldest) body temperature.

His favorite food is curry.

He has an old man’s sleep schedule.

 

Brooks’ Dream is to reunite with Laboon, and play music for his friends. Both of those are well within his bony grasp- shoot, as soon as he mentions wanting to speak to Laboon again, Mab will make that snailcall and add him to the Calling Out roster.

 

His power flower is  [ Rose ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rose) .

His birthday is the Third of April.

His star sign is Aries, or Fountain.

He was in his eighties (probably? He thinks?) at the start, and he’s in his eighties now. Ish.

His blood type was X+ (A+) when he was alive. He still has his dog-tags; he remembers that much.

He bathes and rinses once a week. Too much water is bad for the bones!

He sleeps about five hours every day, between twelve AM and five AM.

 

If he were from a real place, it would be Austria. If he was from somewhere in Japan, it’d be Tottori. He’s actually from… from… H-he’s from... Look, it just upsets him to be asked outright like that, you have to let him bring it up; and don’t push for more, he’s only got so many words he can speak before they just… fail him.

Music has never failed Brook, not even when he didn’t know how to make it.

 

If he weren’t a pirate, he’d be a musical historian.

If they were a song, it’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/OPhkZW_jwc0) . He’s nowhere  _ near _ as happy or upbeat as he presents himself.

 

Before joining the crew, he could cook churrasco; now he can cook different styles of churrasco.

He wears nothing that he thinks is out of order for a man, though he does have a wild streak- he’s happiest in a three piece suit, and would absolutely  _ die _ if a woman of his affections saw him otherwise without invitation. We’re all aware of the irony in that statement, so let’s just move on.

 

Brook doesn’t actually have amnesia; he has battleshock, also known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Being with his friends helps a lot; being somewhere new all the time yet having very strict and structured routines helps a lot; playing music helps a lot. 

If Mab and he ever combine their Devil Fruits, he’d regain his flesh and quite a lot of his youth as well. That would help his battleshock the most… and would also be the most terrifying change for him.

Brook is much, much older than he realizes. Part of the reason he has such a hard time with his memories isn’t  _ just _ that he was stuck somewhere for quite a long time; and it’s not  _ just _ trauma, either. The Rumbar Pirates sailed through the Old Sargasso, which was known for its mysterious time warping whirlpools. The timewhirls haven't shown up in the New Sargasso, but, well... give them time.

Some songs gain a kind of longevity of their own, their own soul, passed on from soldier to soldier, scribbled on the bunks of dormitories and faithfully copied over and over as the beds change… Carried like secret babies in the minds of their singers, hummed while washing dishes and dreamed of in schools. Ideas take the longest to die, and pop back alive so quick, it can be hardly said they died at all. Brook is  _ very powerful _ in ways it’s hard to describe.

 

He hates the smell of fog and wood rot; he hates the taste of lemon and beeswax.

His favorite food is curry; and while he is quite aware that it’s not a traditional dish from anywhere, anymore,  **_he_ ** remembers.

 

Brook doesn’t think he has to worry about romance or sex anymore… and he’s not exactly wrong, but he’s not right either. There’s always someone for you, if you want them; always.

His favorite activity is listening to his Musician Friends bicker about nonsense, throw jokes at each other, and jam.  Some things never change.

 

Fun Fact: Brook has six toes on each foot. He’s never, ever,  _ ever _ , told or shown anyone this. Ever.


	14. Straw Hat Pirates: Gurry

Straw Hats Painter. Fine Artist. Visual Chronicle Maker. These are the words that best describe Marguerite ‘Gurry’ Le Fay, Straw Hats Painter.

His favorite crewmate is Mab, because she gives him a working model of how to make art, and be beautiful, and get shit done. She’s really inspiring; both professionally and personally.

He is the favorite crewmate of the Senior Crew (see chapters 1-14), because he consistently captures what they love the most in his paintings, particularly when he paints a subject pertinent to them. As he’s grown in skill, and his eyes have seen more of the world, his art has become both more refined, and less so- it took him fourteen years to paint like a master, and another ten to paint like  _ every _ master. Now, he’s relearning how to paint like a child.

 

His power animal is  [ Starfish ](https://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/starfish-zanzibar-vincenzo-lombardo.jpg) , also known as the Feeling Fish.

His favorite number is fourteen because it’s the first even  [ nontotient ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nontotient) .

His favorite color is pink.

He smells like bitter linseed oil, turpentine, mint, lanolin, rotten eggs and dirt.

His favorite season is high dry Summer, when the light lasts from five in the morning to ten at night, and is thick and strong enough to cut into pieces.

Gurry has an even body temperature, with surprisingly warm hands.

His favorite food is frozen yogurt; it used to be fried pork skin, but he’s started not feeling good after moshing a bag of those, so. Frozen yogurt.

He has a surprisingly accurate and steady sleep schedule.

 

His dream is… hm. No one’s ever really asked him outright. At a guess? He wants to paint, and be considered strong, and- a lot of things. The Best Painter in the World. He’s not quite to the same place of actualization that the rest of the Senior Crew is; but he’s getting a little closer, every day. Reality check? His unspoken wish, his Dream, is to move past the trauma of his abuse at the hands of his ex-wife, and be happy. All things are possible, in this world; and that’s a Dream worth striving for.

 

His power flower is Daisy.

His birthday is the Twenty-Eighth of January.

His star sign is Capricorn, also known as Chimera.

He was 27 at the start, and is now 28.

His blood type is XF- (AB-). 

He bathes every day, and rinses off after working with dusty artist’s materials.

He sleeps about nine hours every night, between midnight and nine AM.

 

If he were from a real place, it would be Seoul, South Korea. He’s actually from Amazon Lily. 

Amazon Lily is located just to the true west of the Sargasso, and is a Summer Island. It is known for it’s Matriarchal society, and it’s massive collection of native and foreign snakes; literally every kind of snake in the World is found, or soon will be found, in AL. It’s also famous for it’s lily-shaped orchids. Gurry will never, ever, in his life ever, set foot on Amazon Lily again; he neither wants to, or is allowed.

 

If he weren’t a pirate, he’d be a scientific illustrator.

If he were a song, it’d be  [ this one ](https://youtu.be/3iZ9JRVmJ5o) .

 

Before joining the crew, he spent most of his days baking; he can still bake very well, but he’s no patisserie, he’s a home cook (and that’s actually pretty fucking great).

 

Gurry has the eclectic style of a young (queer) man. He wears thrift store clothing, and is absent minded in pursuit of his art- enough so that, barring a few very special items, such as his fur peplum-shrug, all of his clothing has some sort of paint or oil stain on it. He wears high mandarin collars on sleeveless button-up shirts in a fine brocade, warrior’s armbands, leather vambraces, loose cut trousers tucked into knee high leather boots adorned with fur; and in warm weather, it’s denim short shorts over bright lycra running shorts, strappy sandals, and cropped tank tops. 

According to him, so long as he throws an apron on first, he can paint in anything. Mab has kept his suit in a bag ever since she heard him say that.

 

Gurry can do most every traditional dance except flamenco. There are very few people left in the world who can still do the traditional dances of Flevnce.

 

He hates the smell of rotten eggs; he hates the taste of split pea soup.

His favorite food is beef kolache.

 

He is currently ‘going steady’ with Taffy. Yes, that’s what he calls it. Taffy thinks it’s just about the cutest thing he’s ever said.

 

His favorite activity is freeform acrobatics. His favorite thing to do with Taffy is preening her wings.

 

Fun Facts: 

 

Gurry has the largest penis on the crew, both in girth and length. 

Gurry can hold his breath for six hours. 

Gurry knows the difference between salmon and vermillion. 

Gurry wishes he had a more interesting combination than brown hair and brown eyes.

Gurry will never use Arsenic in his arsenal of poisons.

Gurry’s snake, Marzipan, has bitten him three times.


End file.
